BODYSHOCK

Hell yeah! Two or three classes. For free. With no obligation whatsoever. Just show up at the appropriate time. Make sure you are wearing comfortable clothes - you won't need shoes cos training is done barefoot (except for Military PT).

How often can I train at BODYSHOCK?

As often as you want. Well, let's put it this way: as often as you can afford to (ha!ha!). Hey, we're just honest. If you choose to pay for training four times a week, we won't mind if you show up ten times a week. Afterall, Julio does ;-)

What does it cost to train at BODYSHOCK?

OK - this is where things tend to get interesting. What the heck. Let's open up a new window for this one!

Why the hell are you so expensive?!?

Are we? Moi? Well perhaps we are compared with a health club, but first of all you won't get the classes we offer at a health club and you certainly won't get the same type of instructor-led training. And by the way we have raised our prices only minimally since our opening in 2000 - and that despite the introduction of the Euro, despite the increase in VAT, despite global warming and despite [insert witty comment here - can't think of anything myself...].

Do I have to be fit to train at BODYSHOCK?

Not really. Presumably no-one exerts him (or her) self to such a degree that they drop dead of over-exertion five minutes after training. Most people have the sense to know their limitations. If you are unsure at all, please consult your doctor before joining in our training. We will certainly do our best to get the most out of you, but we don't usually haul out the whip (at least not during one of your free tryouts!!). However, we have had few members who have managed to lose a load of weight thanks to training at BODYSHOCK (the record lies at about 30 kilos!).

It helps for Military PT if you can jog for at least 10 - 15 minutes at a time without needing an oxygen mask.

How old do I have to be to train at BODYSHOCK?

You're never too old! You might have to build up a bit more slowly than someone in their twenties, but being forty is not exactly like having a disability (spoken like a true 44 year old!). You might be too young! In order to take part in the adult classes, it helps if your bed time isn't before the class starts (or ends!).

What do I do if I don't know which course to pick?

Who the heck says you have to pick?! As long as you're paying, you can attend any class you wish! Or just visit them all in turn until you can make up your mind. !!

Are your classes only for people who want to get fit (or stay fit) or are they meant for proper martial artists?

Hmm - well this is going to sound like we're hedging our bets, but how you choose to train is up to you. We have many people who want to learn how to fight (Muay Thai), for example, but it doesn't mean that they want to take part in tournaments. No-one will force you to do anything you don't want to...except Julio, of course.

Can I take part in tournaments?

Of course! In the case of Muay Thai-Boran Julio will have the final say on whether you can fight. One criterium is that you regularly take part - and regularly survive! - Military PT. In the case of Felices Kaliradman there tend not to be many tournaments, but if they're worth participating in, we'll be there. Capoeira workshops and rodas take place quite often. We inform our members by email and by posting the information on this website. For those without internet, information is put up in BODYSHOCK.

Do I have to fight ?

Oh definitely! Obligatory. No, of course NOT. If you want to though, and Julio reckons you have a fighting chance (bad pun), go for it! You'll have to become a member in AITMA (pass costs about EUR 20). Ask Julio for details.

Do I have to wash my feet before training at BODYSHOCK?

It's funny you should ask that because the answer is a resounding: Hell yeah! OK - only if you have sweaty feet. Be warned though, if you don't think you have smelly feet but you do, Julio will let you know by handing you soap, a towel and packing you off to the shower! Best to use the old foot spray before you come to training. Actually, the same policy goes for your underarms and any other odiferous bits!! It's no fun to train if you are gasping for oxygen because someone hasn't bothered to wash their bod recently.

Can I bring along my own drinks?

Yes (gnash, grind of teeth!§!%) by law you are allowed to bring your own drinks! We only ask that you please leave them in the changing room and don't drink them till you get home again! Ha! ha! Just joking. However, if you don't want the inconvenience of draging along unwieldy, heavy bottles of warm drinks and putting your back out in the process, you can always buy drinks from us - very cheaply, in fact!

What do drinks cost at BODYSHOCK ?

How the heck do I know! I'm just in charge of the website waffle! Probably about EUR 0,50 more than we pay for them.

Can women train at BODYSHOCK ?

Only with a headscarf! Oh, bad joke!? Of course! Afterall we live in the 21st century. In fact women feel right at home at BODYSHOCK - they don't have to worry about being hit on (except in Muay Thai-Boran - hey another crummy joke!) because our male members (?!) tend to be too busy training. And with women around you can imagine that they are even busier training and looking impressive. Huah!

Do you have classes for children?

Yep - at the moment we have a children's class for 5 - 12 year olds which draws from all three of our adult courses. Read more about the children's class here. Children who want to do only Capoeira can join the adult class at 6 pm (Tuesday and Thursday).

During the summer holidays we offer special courses for children (see News for dates). We also enjoy teaching during "project weeks". If you'd like us to teach a class for you - anything from infant school to nursing home - just give us a call.

Do you do birthday parties and such?

Is that an invitation? We love parties. If you would like to have a party at BODYSHOCK, just give us a call. We can accomodate up to 15 children easily and can pretty much arrange for anything or any class you'd like.

How old do I have to be to train with the grown-ups?

Hey, haven't we had this question already? Well, alright then: as long as you are allowed to stay up that late, and don't change into a pumpkin on the stroke of 7, you can join the adult classes.

What should I wear for training ?

Loose, comfortable gear. No shoes are required (except for Military PT!). For Muay Thai-Boran it's probably a good idea to wear a pair of shorts so that you can enjoy the full pleasure of a shin-on-shin kick :-)) Long trousers (sweatpants) are good for Capoeira seeing as you presumably won't want anyone getting an eyeful of what you're packing (or not packing) when you do a cartwheel (aú) which is what happens if you're weary baggy shorts. Ideally you should wear white trousers for Capoeira. Sweatpants are also fine to begin with in Angkán Felices Kaliradman.

Do I have to buy a uniform?

If you know you'll be sticking with the class, then it's best to get a uniform. You want to belong, don't you!?! And half the battle's looking the part, isn't it?

Do I have to buy a ton of equipment?

A ton? In Muay Thai-Boran you'd be seriously daft if you didn't want groin protection. Next in order of priority would be a mouthpiece, boxing gloves, shin protection and Muay Thai shorts. You can buy most of this stuff from us. No equipment is necessary in Capoeira except for the white capoeira trousers/pants. In Felices Kaliradman you'll want to get your own sticks sooner or later. They aren't expensive and you can borrow ours until you have decided that stickfighting is the way to go. You won't need anything special for Military PT - unless of course you want to heighten the experience by dragging along those heavy, unwieldy drinks from home..!

How expensive is the equipment I'll need?

In the case of Muay Thai-Boran each piece of equipment isn't so expensive. You just need quite a lot of it compared with the other courses we offer (groin protection, mouthpiece, boxing gloves, shin protection, shorts). But you can buy the stuff one piece at a time. A pair of sticks for Felices Kaliradman doesn't cost more than...say...a trip to the cinema? With popcorn?

What is the meaning of life ?

What the heck kind of question is that!? Luckily we happen to have the answer (according to the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy): 42.

Why can't pigeons puke?

Dunno. I've read that somewhere. Was it pigeons or ducks?

Why do you lot write such a load of crap?

Hey. Good question!

This is getting too brainless. Do I have to keep on reading?

Yep.